Retirement is finally here! Now what? There's an awfully long time between cornflakes in the morning and your evening cocoa, not to mention a limit to how many sudokus can be done in one day. One of the retirement survival skills you'll need is financial wizardry, which includes skills such as how to get three cups of tea out of one bag. Sparkling conversation skills include 300 different ways to discuss the weather. It's easy if you treat it as a new job--at least you can't be made redundant. However, make sure to complain regularly, otherwise everyone will be doing it.About the Author: Mike Haskins is a comedy writer for television and radio and the author of We Are Doomed. Clive Whichelow is a journalist and comedy writer and the author of It's Not Rocket Science and Other Irritating Modern Cliches.